Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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