i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
