i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
