How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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