Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
