Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
