with your own penis?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize