rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
