just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
