they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
