There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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