handjob tips. give me some.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
