How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
3pm strippers are depressing
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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