I want to stick my p in your. b.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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