So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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