there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize