Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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