btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
