I can text with my tongue
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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