Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
