i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Text me some of your sweat
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