Sry I called you an 8
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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