We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
