I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
