Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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