You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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