I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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