Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
