It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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