Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize