he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
