We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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