either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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