I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
