Please, let me fuck your mom
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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