her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
