i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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