Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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