he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Terrible idea I love it
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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