i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
