haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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