would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
