I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
