is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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