I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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