my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
