He told me they were just razor bumps!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We have started to decorate penises.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
