I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize