I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
