So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize