Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
