here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I can't put those talents on a resume
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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