the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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