I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
