The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
