i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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