she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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