he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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