so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
